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My Thoughts On Having A Second Child

by Contributing Author

Growing up, the idea of ​​having children was something I never really questioned. My childhood drawings depicted happy families with toddlers and toddlers and many small children. And I did my best to get my cousins ​​and friends to play with dolls and play at home until I was much older than I would like to admit. I imagined there would be more than 4 people.And the moment I found out I was pregnant (Click here if you wish) I felt like my deepest and greatest wishes had been fulfilled.

So, as my daughter’s second birthday approached, I absolutely still had the urge to have another child. non-Yes, it sent me into a sort of identity crisis. The idea of ​​being responsible for yet another life – a number two Children – It literally felt impossible. I certainly not yet Do not sleep more than 3 hours at a time* – this has been resolved, but not forgotten.And for a really long time I was sure of myself it was only one and end.

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It took me a few months before I realized that the two (ish) age gaps between my kids was a completely socially projected concept on me. maybe. not yet. The relief that struck me was immeasurable when I decided to undo everything that was pre-programmed to believe. Even though, I immediately felt better on many levels.

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It seems silly looking back on it now, but I really had no idea that when my daughter was 10, I could talk about having another child if I wanted to. Differences also have advantages and disadvantages.

I’m still not sure if a second child would be a good fit for us, but having only one child, TRUE Incredible work… I feel so at peace in removing the pressure of this arbitrary timeline. I love the idea of ​​simply watching how things unfold.

That said, one thing I find helpful is imagining our distant future. How many people can you see sitting around the Christmas dinner table? , baby years are so short and fleeting that making permanent decisions based on potentially difficult years is something to consider. You will know your children as adults for a much longer time (both heartbreak and relief at the same time).

When I casually mentioned my thoughts and fears on an Instagram story a few months ago, I was inundated with people in the same boat. recommend to. Try to figure out what is yours and what is not. And give yourself time and space so that you don’t get the final answer in this moment. .

*My daughter was a really bad sleeper, waking up every 2-3 hours every night until shortly after her 2nd birthday and never made it out of her neonatal period. But we made it and we live to tell the story!

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